Mom Slayer 5000™

These aren’t just sunglasses. These are weapons of mass seduction. Inspired by the unapologetic swagger of Billy Love and the reckless confidence of your favourite gym bro who thinks he’s God’s gift to suburbia, the Mom Slayer 5000™ is here to spice up marriages (respectfully).

Key Features:

• UV Protection (because even chaos needs eye care)
• Lightweight, high-performance frame — optimized for poolside flexing and slow-motion lawn mowing
• Polarized lenses so you can spot a MILF in distress from 300 yards
• Vibes certified: 100% ironic, 100% alpha

Whether you’re deadlifting dad weights or double-fisting iced coffees, these shades scream “I’m not a stepdad… but I’m stepping up.”

Slay responsibly.